Health, Wellness, and Safety

DEB OTEY: Welcome to Thunder and Thoughts, the podcast from The Out-of-Door Academy, where curiosity sparks understanding. I'm Dr. Deb Otey, Head of School at Out-of-Door, and in each episode, we'll sit down with the educators, leaders, and experts who know our school best to answer your questions, share ideas, and give you a closer look at the ODA experience.

Today's forecast calls for a chance of peace of mind with a high probability of understanding, as we explore one of the most important promises we make to our families: keeping our students safe, supported, and healthy. Helping us navigate today's forecast are Bob Busick, our Director of Security, and Melinda Lloyd, our Director of Academic Services and Counseling. Bob and Melinda, two fantastic people that I really enjoy working with. Welcome to the podcast today.

BOB BUSICK: Thank you.

MELINDA LLOYD: Yes. All right.

DEB OTEY: So we have to start by learning a little bit about each of you. So, Bob, besides also being from the great state of West Virginia, what else can we learn from you?

BOB BUSICK: So, yes, ma'am. As you said, I'm a West Virginian. I was a West Virginia State Trooper for about 16 years before my family located in Florida. And I'm also a parent here at the school. So that's how I found the ODA family, was as a parent initially.

DEB OTEY: Great. Well, we're glad to have you, Bob. And Melinda, what about you?

MELINDA LLOYD: Well, this is my 15th year at ODA. And prior to that, I started as a teacher to teach senior English in Kentucky, also as a school counselor there. Moved to Florida and worked as a parent educator at Forty Carats. And then did some grant work for Sarasota County, and then found my way back to my initial roots, which is the classroom and ODA.

DEB OTEY: I did not know until we were getting ready for these podcasts that you also taught English.

MELINDA LLOYD: I taught English.

DEB OTEY: It's a great way to get started. I love that. So, Melinda, let's go a little bit into the counseling. I think many times people assume that a school counselor is there only when kids have problems. So tell us a little bit more, because I think your role is a lot more than that.

MELINDA LLOYD: Yeah, I think people do think about school counseling back in the day as people that sat in their office, maybe did scheduling, maybe did testing, and really only saw the students that walked through the door. And today, counselors are very much in the life of the school. You'll find them teaching lessons in the classroom on friendship or coping mechanisms or communication styles. You'll find counselors doing small groups with new students in our community during lunch bunches. You'll find counselors doing parenting ed with coffee and conversations on topics that matter to parents. We try to get input from parents and see what it is that they want more information on.

And, I mean, even you and I, we've done a book talk together. I think we'll be on year three, which really speaks to our commitment to trying to connect parents and give them a community as well. We certainly, as counselors, are doing the short-term counseling. We are working through challenges. We are working through helping students find their words. But we're really out in the life of the students. And mainly, that's on purpose so that they can see that we're out there, they know who to go to, we are approachable, so that they will walk through the door and seek support when needed.

DEB OTEY: Yes, it's wonderful, yes. So we talk a lot at ODA about educating the whole child. So how does supporting students' social and emotional wellness really help them do well academically?

MELINDA LLOYD: Well, students can't learn if they don't feel safe. And so social and emotional well-being really is at the root of teaching kids to understand their emotions, express them, and really continue that as they leave us. Also, we're teaching them to connect to people and network. So really, you have the best learning when those two things are available as well, as the academic pieces.

DEB OTEY: Well, and many families might not realize that your team is not just the three counselors. You have a lot of other people that you lead and that work with you. And then we have a lot of other people on campus that also support wellness and safety with students. So who else can you add to the team?

MELINDA LLOYD: My goodness. So we have learning — you started with — we have dedicated school counselors for each level. We have learning specialists that help with any learning differences, but really they're here for all students, for executive functioning, all of those academic pieces. We work with our nurses, for sure, when there are accommodations that need to be either short-term or long-term for medical.

But really, collaboration is at the heart of everything that we do. Nothing is in isolation because kids are not in isolation. And so we are always thinking about what's in the best interest of the child, which means you have to go out and figure out who knows the most and how can we get the best course of action for a child. We work with administrators, both in interventive and preventative ways. And we also work with educators. Teachers are stopping by all the time to say, these are some patterns we're seeing, what can this behavior tell us? How could I go about talking to them? And of course we're partnering with parents, and that's at the heart of every single thing we're doing.

And we partner with local vendors as well, because we have experts, sometimes we have to farm things out or we have to ask for help from other organizations, and you vet those as well.

MELINDA LLOYD: We do. We are constantly trying to build our rapport and reputation with outside providers and community agencies that can come in. We've had the Child Protection Center in doing personal safety for pre-K through five. And really we are trying to lean on people that know the most to give, again, that best information to families.

DEB OTEY: Well, I don't know if you know this, Melinda, but growing up today, it's not like it was when we were growing up. So, I mean, it makes parenting, I think, more challenging, because we can't necessarily go to our parents and say, how did you deal with the cell phone? And how did you deal? Because our parents didn't deal with that. So, talk to me a little bit about today's teens and young adults and what are they facing?

MELINDA LLOYD: I think a big thing that they're facing now is this drive to be perfect. And of course we want a healthy pursuit of excellence, and we know that perfection is really unattainable. So, trying to right-size their expectations — and we know that they can't keep that up. So, kids today, they wanna be the best athlete. They wanna be the best captain of the squad. They want to be a leader in their club. They wanna have the best community service. They wanna be involved in all of the rigorous classes. And really, that's tough for them.

It's a mixed message because we're saying, find your passion, take your time, learn from your mistakes. And at the same time, what they're getting is, well, because achievement matters so much and everything's high stakes, it's really difficult to do that. So, we're always trying to help them navigate that. And that's really tough. It's hard for parents, it's hard for educators.

DEB OTEY: Well, I know a few of the book talks we've done, books like Mattering and Enough. Those were great books that we did that really leaned back into what you just talked about, is that achievement culture and the anxiety that it brings with it. So, how can parents — this is something that, I remember when I was a middle school head or an upper school head, I would always help parents by trying to help them to figure out when is something worth worrying about and when is it just normal teenage behavior, especially if this is your first teenager, you don't even know if this is normal or not. So, how do you help us understand that?

MELINDA LLOYD: That is really tough. I'm glad you asked that. I like to think of four different kind of categories when you're thinking about what behaviors am I seeing as a parent and what are typical ages and stages, and when should I hit the support button?

The first would be if it's out of the ordinary. Parents know their child the best. They are experts on their child. And so, if you're sitting there thinking something isn't feeling right, my gut doesn't feel right, but I don't really want to get involved, but maybe I should — chances are you should examine a little bit more.

The next thing would be if it's persistent. So, if something is persistent, despite all the things you've done, all the talking you've done, trying to get more information, and this thing keeps happening or you still feel like there's a challenge. The next thing would be excessive. If something feels real intense or sometimes even a little bit unreasonable, you're like, I just don't know, but this is way over the top. And then, of course, the last thing would be if it gets in the way of — so, anything that gets in the way of forward-moving motion, interfering with everyday typical things, and you're, again, you're going back to that gut check. You're kind of like, this is — now it's impacting this, this, this, and this. We definitely want parents to reach out.

DEB OTEY: Yes, and the one I always ask parents, are they sleeping and eating?

MELINDA LLOYD: Yeah. Sleeping and eating always a great tell if something — if they're not sleeping and not eating, then obviously something's wrong.

DEB OTEY: Yes, well, if a parent does call you, reach out to you or one of the other counselors, what happens next? Like, how does that play out?

MELINDA LLOYD: Well, I would be so grateful for that. We all would be, because what we don't want for a child or for a parent is to ever worry alone. And Dr. Hallowell is an expert child psychiatrist. He coined that term and it's just so true, right? You're holding things in. You don't know what you should do about it. It builds, it builds, and it almost feels impossible.

So I would really be happy that the parent reached out. I would listen and start to sift through the layers of all the things, right? Sometimes for parents and for kids — when we're working with kids — just talking it out gives them control over their emotions. It already makes them feel better. And you know what, that's about all they need. And then if that's not all they need, we think about who are the people and the places that we can really — again, what's in the best interest of that child — and connect them to that, and give them some skills and some words just to be able to get in front of it and not feel so isolated and alone.

And often, sometimes we're just validating, and we're saying, you know what, kid, you think that all the other kids are walking through the hall and everything's going great, but they're just being very polished. They also are going through things that are really difficult. And sometimes kids can breathe a little easier when they know that, and parents certainly can too, because it can feel isolating. Parenting is a lonely job. So I always like it when we have people come to our book talks, because I think it's a support — it's definitely a support group, a very positive support group for each other.

DEB OTEY: So let's transition a little bit from counseling to safety. So Bob, we're so glad you're with us. You know, I always say our families trust us with their most prized possession, their children, right? So what does your team do every day that parents probably never even see?

BOB BUSICK: Well, first of all, I'd like to highlight that as I am one of those families that trust me with the prized possession. What they do is — we keep some things on the cuff, of course, but typically our campus safety officers, they're well before students are on campus, and they'll do a perimeter check. They'll make sure that their gear and their campus is in a squared-away form, meaning that the gates are locked, but there was maybe something that didn't get blown over by weather or something. So the students are safe when they walk on campus.

After that, you're gonna see a campus safety officer when you either drop your child off, or if the student themselves now are driving in the upper school. And that's to establish a rapport and a level of comfort, that they know a face on campus. And it differs — very from the high fives and "hey, how are you" down on the lower, to just a nod or "hey, how are you today? You did great at your band performance" or things like that in the upper school.

DEB OTEY: I love it that you're integrated in as a part of the community. You're not just auxiliary, you're part of the community.

BOB BUSICK: Yes, ma'am.

DEB OTEY: Yeah, I love that. So safety today, it's not just about locked doors. There's a lot more sophisticated aspects of our safety. So what kind of things could you tell us about systems and processes that we have in place at ODA?

BOB BUSICK: Fantastic question. It isn't about locked doors anymore, and we're not campus enforcement, we're campus safety. We're there to keep the students safe, as Ms. Lloyd was saying, and make them feel happy to learn. And they may never know that, but the things we have in place will just give them that feeling of an open learning environment.

And we have what's called a Syntegix. It's a campus safety system that, for worst-case scenarios and best, it's campus mapping, locations of critical incidents, whether that be medical, weather, or in the worst-case scenarios.

DEB OTEY: Or at ODA, maybe a critter or two.

BOB BUSICK: We had the Syntegix alert for an alligator at some point.

DEB OTEY: Yes, or a snake or a raccoon.

BOB BUSICK: You never know what might be around at the upper campus. And while it was far off campus, we've had the alerts for many things. And it has been, you know, whether we've had a raccoon or something that weather has blown over and it just — we've noticed that as it finally gave way, and the teachers have let us know.

We have a very, very up-to-date surveillance system. We have very up-to-date gates and locks and controlled access and systems of that nature as well. Egress and access.

DEB OTEY: Good, good. Well, I know we also have great rapport with local law enforcement as well. Don't they come and visit us occasionally too?

BOB BUSICK: More than occasionally. We bring them on campus as much as we possibly can. And it doesn't hurt that one of our campus safety officers was a deputy in this county for 32 years. So we do have a good rapport with them.

DEB OTEY: Now, technology, it seems to be coming up in all my conversations this fall, but technology plays an important role too. How does your team work alongside the technology?

BOB BUSICK: Well, you gotta have the right people to be able to put the inputs into technology. So the technology is fantastic, because I feel like the group has really embraced learning it. The technology is — I'll highlight again — our security system, our campus safety system, our level of surveillance is just absolutely fantastic.

DEB OTEY: Yes, we usually know what's going on, don't we?

BOB BUSICK: Without a doubt, yes, ma'am.

DEB OTEY: So one of the things that we have to do now, and it's unfortunate, but it is always good to be prepared, is we have drills. And so when we're working with kids of all ages and kids who might get more uptight from a drill than others, how is it really important that we prepare our kids for what might never happen, but that we do it without creating unnecessary anxiety?

BOB BUSICK: Without a doubt. The goal is training, and we're trying to build a quiet muscle memory of a skill that we would never have to use, God willing. And we've gotten with Ms. Lloyd and her team to make sure that the drills are age-appropriate. We do them in repetition enough that we build confidence, and confidence will always overcome panic and fear. And if it's something you've done, that now when your heart rate's at a higher beat per minute, you're not going to panic. You're going to revert back to your muscle memory.

DEB OTEY: It's one of the many ways that the two of you work really well together in making sure that we're prepared.

BOB BUSICK: Yes, ma'am.

DEB OTEY: So we do have these crisis plans. Obviously, you kind of mentioned this already, but without sharing any sensitive details about all of our plans, can you talk about why it's so important? You talked about this muscle memory, and I really think that anything more you'd want to add to that.

BOB BUSICK: Sure. And I'd like to highlight that while we keep tactics to ourselves, we are able to say that, yeah, we drill these things, and the reason we drill them is like wearing your seatbelt. You hope you never have to use your seatbelt when you put it on.

DEB OTEY: You do.

BOB BUSICK: And it's like my son is learning his multiplication. It's repetition, and in the event that you ever have to use that repetition, it's not a foreign object. It's not a foreign theory. It's something that you've done before.

DEB OTEY: Right. It becomes more reflexive.

BOB BUSICK: That's right.

DEB OTEY: Yeah, that's great. So do you and your team review those drills every year, and how do the teachers know about them?

BOB BUSICK: For sure. We do. We do two things. We have our yearly review, and we hold to national standards with those reviews. We keep a timeline, and we keep a log. But after each drill, too, we do an AAR, an after-action report. And that's where the nuts and bolts — how were we quiet? Were we smooth? We were 30 seconds faster here. We were a little bit slower there. And then we'll send out a mass email just to say, hey, here's where our improvements are, and here's where we can get better.

DEB OTEY: Right. That's good. I always have to remember not to talk during a fire drill, Bob, because I'm always chatting during the fire drill.

BOB BUSICK: There have been certain occasions where the faculty has been a little louder than our students.

DEB OTEY: Yeah, sometimes. Make sure I let them know when we have our campus events. I'll remember this year during the fire drills.

DEB OTEY: So listening to you both today, it just reminds me how health, wellness, safety, they really aren't separate. And we want our kids to thrive. We want our kids to be in spaces that they feel safe in, so that they can take risks, and so they can have the courage to grow as a learner. So that's just really important to me. Anything else you two want to add about how your teams work well together?

MELINDA LLOYD: I think that it's important, Bob mentioned, we are thinking about what's age appropriate. And we really do take the time. I mean, I want everyone to understand we are in a room before all this happens, and thinking about everything that a child would need to know, and the best way to get that information to them. And we're practicing how that feels. And we're asking student input, certainly in the upper school years. And we're partnering with administrators. And so it really is many people around the table to try to make sure that we are keeping them safe, and that they can get it in doses that they can manage.

DEB OTEY: Yes, you two are definitely a dynamic duo. Very, very grateful for both of you. So let's finish with just one final question. Bob, when parents drop their kids off at ODA every day, what do you want them to know?

BOB BUSICK: I want them to feel peace of mind. And we highlighted that in the beginning of this, in the beginning of our conversation. Peace of mind that when your child's there, we're doing everything that we can to make them feel safe. And I hope that that safety is — you don't think about breathing, you don't think about your heart beating. I hope that safety is just built in. And I want the parents to know that if there is something that they're concerned about, they can go to the principal, or their head of school, they can go to you, or pull me aside, and we'll do everything we can to make sure that we instill that in everybody.

DEB OTEY: Yes, and we know that your team is very brave and out there on the front line for us, but you are also very approachable. So I would encourage parents to reach out if they have any questions.

BOB BUSICK: Please do.

DEB OTEY: And Melinda, your last question is going to be really — if our kids could leave ODA feeling one thing about themselves, what would you want them to feel?

MELINDA LLOYD: Well, I would want them to feel that they can do anything, that they have the confidence to try something to do it. That self-efficacy, I think, is the biggest thing. And I would want them to leave knowing that all the skills that they learned and all the people that helped support them will always be here. You know, I would want them to be able to come back and know that they were cared for and that we saw them. That would be really important to know — that they, and they will always be cared for, and we will always be here for them, and we'll always be here for the families. Just because they graduate doesn't mean that we're gone. We're always here.

DEB OTEY: Yes. Someone asked me recently in a podcast what I would want our kids to think when they are crossing the stage. And I just wanted them to think, I'm ready. I'm ready. And that goes along really well with what you just said. So thank you both. Thank you both for being here, Bob and Melinda. We're so grateful that you are part of our ODA team.

ODA doesn't just care for our students academically, but also physically, emotionally, and every day in between, maybe even when they're not their best. But we love them, and we love that ODA is a great place for them.

To our families, thank you for spending a few minutes with us. We hope today's conversation gave you a better understanding of the many ways our team works together to create a school environment where every student can learn, grow, and thrive. If today's episode inspired a question, we'd love to hear it. Thunder and Thoughts is built around the questions that matter most to our families, so keep them coming. Your question may inspire a future episode. Until next time, I'm Deb Otey. Thank you for listening.